“At forty years, life is just beginning, I now know for sure,” said the heroine of the film “Moscow does not believe in tears”. A lot has already been written about age and existential crises. But at this time, new prospects are opening before a person. About how to fulfill your dream and do your favorite business, says business psychologist Alevtina Kaipova.

The client turned to me with a request that she did not have enough strength to go to work that brings money. With a deeper study, it turned out that at this stage she was trying to fulfill her old dream and get another profession. It is because of this situation that she has to burst between the two fires. This problem causes maximum resource consumption and reduction of the general level of energy.

Who are modern forty -year -olds?

I noted that modern forty -year -olds do not look at their own forty. They are sports, one of them is more well-groomed, someone less. Someone leads a healthier lifestyle, someone less.

But at the same time, globally modern forty -year -olds are full of strength, energy, ambitions, deep personalities with a high level of understanding of what is good, what is bad. They have “correct” basic values.

Nowadays, they talk about the prerequisites for the change of activity related to digitalization, with changes in the expectations of society from people. And, in my opinion, forty -year -olds are a foundation on which our country will rely on for a long time, because it is a generation that carries in itself, our former DNA, which we are now trying to save in the young.

When forty -year -olds chose their path, there was a period of crisis. Therefore, the decisions of many were based on factors more pragmatic than those that are customary to consider now – “listen to your heart, try to understand what is closer to you”.

Based on the basic values of the time in which they were formed, today forty -year -olds are trying to reconsider their lives and try to realize dreams, for one reason or another, not realized in their youth.

How is the decision making to realize your dream? This is also a separate topic, because modern forty -year -olds most often come to this through personal, and quite complex, transformation. They are looking for the meaning of life, try to process their crisis situations with psychologists and, changing the profession, at first they change themselves.

How to go to your dream?

If you are 40 years old and you do not feel pleasure from life, then I would advise the following:

1.Try to go through a personal transformation. She is long and painful. And is associated with a really deep work with a psychologist, psychoanalyst or psychoanalytically oriented coach.

But this is not one or two sessions where you were told: “You can. Tell yourself three times

“you can” and go!»This is not a motivational story. Deep study means the search for himself that has long been hidden in the depths of the unconscious and tries to break out when we are 40 years old, or if we have serious problems and we are unhappy with our lives.

So, the first thing to start with is to work out yourself.

2.Understand what reality surrounds you at this moment. Different formats of actions are possible: there are people who, after personal transformation, begin to immediately chop everything in the root and burn bridges.

There are those who do not dare to take this step and inhibits the realization of their dreams, but in the end they never come to this. This, of course, does not make them happier. Nevertheless, it is safer.

Do not burn bridges, do not chop off your shoulder. If you go through a personal transformation, give your new “I” the opportunity to ripen and give you the opportunity to come true in your dream in a safe space. And this means that you keep belonging to the society that is now surrounding you. You save current contacts, but begin to move towards the goal, to your new identity.

3. Make a plan. Understand for yourself when exactly this new story should be realized. Make a plan, try to determine how many percent of your time should go to certain tasks and affairs, in particular, to make money and so on.

If you have what you are doing for the soul, understand how much you can give to this particular occupation. And try to find the balance, distributing 100% of your time so that every lesson takes place in your life, helps to create a safe environment and at the same time gives the opportunity to realize long -standing dreams, aspirations.

4. Do not lose yourself in motion to new goals. By the age of forty, you have already achieved something. Your achievements should not be completely depressed and forgotten while moving towards a dream. They must be correctly “disposed of”.

It is also important here to understand which of these achievements can be used to move to a dream, and which is impossible, but, for example, they are also important and necessary for you. Use your achievements and your present to create the future. And then the changes will occur for you more harmoniously.

5. Learn to talk about yourself. Not all new ways are possible without this skill. Modern forties have always been told about what to talk about themselves – boasting, it is ashamed and selfish. We were also always inspired that we did not deserve to talk about ourselves, since there are people more worthy.

I will not argue about who worthy, I will only say that: in order to start talking, you need to understand who you are, what you are, what you are, you are. And transmit this information in such a way that what you are talking about, reflects reality.

Let us return to the first point on personal transformation – when you understand who you are, be sure to learn about it, talk about yourself. Unfortunately, the modern world is arranged in such a way that if you are not talking about yourself, then no one can know about you.

Speech was given to man in due time so that he could speak. No one can guess, think of, feel something if you yourself do not say as specifically about yourself and about what you want. Remember that self -esteem and belief in yourself are an important component of changing your life at 40 years old. Therefore, work with your self -esteem, believe that you will succeed, and do not move to your dream alone.

You will definitely need fellow travelers who will support it when it will be difficult and the hands will fall that will cheer you up and praise you when there is a need that will critically give you feedback so that you can improve in your business. The main thing, start moving, moving according to the plan, and you will succeed!

And if at some point it seems that something is going wrong, you can stop and assess the situation. At 40, life really only begins, especially now, during opportunities, during such affordable training.

The main thing is not to change your values, do not exchange that you are not close, but it seems very modern and in demand. Find yourself and do it your profession. This is a difficult way, but the result will cost all the efforts spent.